Posts tagged plans

As I was brushing my teeth tonight I was recalling how I had made myself a schedule for this semester. I had planned my days out from 6 am to midnight every day of the week. Email, work, commute time, family time, homework, class and a little bit of time to write or blog. I’m glad that I didn’t mess up the mirror laughing at the idea that I could schedule anything in my life.

I failed to schedule in my daughter’s soccer practices on Monday nights.

I failed to schedule in monthly dinners with my students who live on campus.

I failed to schedule in four speaking engagements in the next month.

I failed to schedule in nights when I say “fuck it!” and do nothing productive for my class. Productive in other ways though.

That said, I am getting the hang of class.

My professor wants us to talk more than her, which half the time I’m ok with. I’m doing the readings, writing the journals (although not in as academic writing as I probably should be doing….they are more like blog posts about the readings) and coming prepared. Then she says, “Anyone else?” And I have to keep my mouth shut. Ahhhh…Good to be back in a classroom!

But it is grueling work folks.

There is just so much to read! And the thing that trips me up in class is when my professor references a paper by its author and I’m all “Who? What? Where?” furiously flipping through my already over-stuffed-three ring binder to figure out what paper she’s asking us about while two other classmates are already debating about it. Once I catch up, I’m good though.

And I know that this weakness is because sometimes I need to read in the car or on the couch while the kid and her daddy are enjoying life. I know faculty keep saying that this program must be #1 in my life (after work of course), but at different parts of the day it’s dead last.

But I met someone! A second year student who is also focusing her work on feminist theory. I went to the monthly social tonight and when I mentioned to a classmate that my project for the class is on feminist theory, my new PhD BFF’s eyes lit up. It was like angels descended me from Heaven for her. And gotta say it was the same on my end. She even has files for me to look through already. FUCK YEAH!

I certainly didn’t schedule in this late night, so off to bed I go! Tomorrow’s full of homework which includes trying to find a way to print out a zillion pages of PDF files (Kinko’s right?) and a hair cut! Thankfully my stylist is grounded enough that even if I said, “Give me a pixie cut!” he wouldn’t do it. Or would he?

This is the last weekend before I start classes. Not sure why I keep thinking this is my last weekend considering that I received my syllabus and I have read just over half the articles I need to read for class. I’ve started, yet just not with that whole “OMG, I’m sitting in my PhD class!” moment.

Wednesday was orientation and it was fine. Our director of graduate studies spent a good amount of time telling us that sooner or later us part-timers (I think there are 3-4 of us) will need to devote our full time lives to this PhD. She said that others who have gone through the program full time quit working for a year (except for having a graduate assistantship) or took a leave of absence. These moments occurred either when it was time to write (I know a woman who did this) or in preparation for prelims.

This made me happy to think that we’re going to be finished paying off the car come October. And we’re going to put all that “extra” money into savings. Will it save until I need to take 3 months off? Maybe it’s time to start hording vacation days too. But I can see why one would want to take some time off to prep for the biggest tests ever in my academic life. Maybe I’ll put a ChipIn button here so y’all can help me save for me staying home to write my thesis. We’ll see, eh?

Well back to homework.

August. No more can I say that I’m starting my Ph.D. program next month or at the end of summer. I’m starting it THIS MONTH!

I’m even registered for the one class that hopefully will ease me into this long and grueling adventure. Yes, it will be tough, but it’s a theory course and I’m always good at theory courses. It’s also taught by someone I need to get to know due to their research area being pretty much the area I want to do my dissertation on. So the course work will be doing double duty…Getting me back in the groove and proving to this professor that I’m the real deal.

My class starts on the 25th. Start the countdown!