OK, so maybe that’s a bit overstated, but honestly I know I’m barely up to par in my sociology course. I’m just not use to the style of writing and it took me 4-5 weeks to figure out what I thought was the core issue of what we were reading really wasn’t the core issue. Not that I wasn’t getting it, but you know I was focusing on the branches of an idea not the roots.

I need to write a lit review for this course as well. The topic I selected with consultation from my professor is an excellent one. But as I have gotten into the literature, I feel like I need to take a big step back. How can I truly understand how feminist organizations deal with hierarchy when I’m discovering that I don’t have a current understanding of what it means for an organization to be gendered.

Normally when I come to a conclusion like that, I freak. Especially when taking a course from someone who I kinda work with (academia is full of committees), see around a lot and quite honestly like. But notsomuch this time. The devil that is perfection isn’t getting its claws into me this time.

Why? Because I can see that my weakness will be my strength. I will be a better student scholar by sucking it up, admitting my lack of knowledge and taking my time to figure it out.

I’m really ok with the idea that I might get a B in this class, but it will be the hardest earned B in a long time. I’m still going to work my ass off, but I know I’m at a disadvantage and I’m not dwelling on it the way I normally would. Kinda weird and kinda awesome.